The Calm Before the Storm

It's peaceful now.


All my pre-occupations are finally done and dealt with. All of them cleared and stacked in neat little boxes to be storaged somewhere in the crevices of my mind.

MPS is done and over. I've finally reached a post-withdrawal stage where I can safely talk about it without breaking into an anxiety attack. There is Hi-tea and gift presenting tho( I think I'm going to have another attack).

Anxiety attacks and high stress levels don't seem to help me much.



Just makes me more muddled.


Just makes me eat less.


Just makes me come down with strange diseases(shingles/'ular')





There's quite a calm in my other arena too.



Not debating and concentrating back on school life is helping me re-assimilate with normal society.


Now I just have to start re-learning the speaking skills I used in debate and mix it with normal conversation. If that's possible.



There is a saying though. The calm comes before the storm.



I can see the storm ahead of me somewhat.



Work load re-piling up.


Exams.


Skimping on school work.


Messing up some other project.




I'm going through a laze faze now, more likely due to the fact my brain's shutting down after 6 months of worrying and working. I don't exactly know how long it takes to get out of laze fazes but I'm going to do it while it lasts.


Even though there's going to be a storm after the calm, it's still nice to enjoy the calm that is now. Looking at my future and screaming and tearing my hair over it will kill me in the end. May as well make sure that before my death I live a satisfying life.


As dire and depressing as it sounds, it's reality.


No point in looking the other way and hoping it misses you. Because it's looking and staring right at you, reality. And the only way to properly deal with it, is to stare it in the eye, and still live your life the way you want to.


Now if only I can master that.


Staind-Reality


We have to start accepting reality, before it destroys us.