Multi-machines and fanfiction stories

Going to the hardware store today, I've realized something.

We have machines that do just about anything.

We have a juice maker, a bread maker, a toaster, a coleslaw maker, coffee machine, tea machine, oven, calculator etc.

One must wonder whether all of it is necessary. I mean, how much work can people actually not do? Think about it. We've striven to build literally every manner of device just to shirk doing work. You have a bread maker because you don't want to knead dough. You have a coffee machine because you don't even know how to make coffee. You have a calculator because you're too lazy to think. You use a computer to find information instead of going to the library. Well, that's actually a good point, really.

And if all the work was done by machines then what are people suppose to do? Sit in front of the telly and PC like zombies? (which by the way we and you and I are all doing now)

It gets so outrageous that the first thing we would most likely have robots do is to help us dress like in the movies. You'd literally be spoon fed and drinking out of a straw. Reminds me a bit of the humans in Wall-E.

*****

I read fanfiction.



People that know me (mostly) know that. If you hadn't known you know now. Though, you probably don't need to know. Confusing? Not like some fanfiction stories I've sifted through. I'm seriously contemplating quitting reading. Finding stories of good quality is like finding a needle in a haystack. Hard work and back breaking and sometimes doesn't pay. Mythbusters had to create wacky machines. I have to stare blankly in horror at the computer screen. I think I drew the short end of the stick there. It's more fun to build wacky devises.



But I digress.



There used to be some really nice fanfiction stories out there. There still more likely is. However they are getting increasingly scarce. The nicest stories I've read were all written years back. Looking for new material that rival is hard. Even worse, is that all the good ones that are NOT finished STAYS unfinished. Some good writers have been dropping their pens for unknown reasons. If it's because you're unsatisfied with your work, go read the story with the summary 'XY and XX go down for some luv XD first ficcy, R&R much more interesting than it sounds' with strange capital punctuations here and there.



I think what I read from one author comment is right. If you want good stories you have to write them yourself. Just that I'm downright lazy. There are some little bands of writers that ahve strived to maintain quality. Artemis Fowl fanfic for one has an archive. But the bad news is like all the good things it has been stagnant for a while.



Really though, what must one do just to read some nice fiction online? Rob a bank?






To those that have no idea what I have just ranted about, don't worry. You do not need to know. Instead enjoy some cello. This is from the movie 'Okuribito', the winner of the Foreign Film Award for this year's Academy Awards. If you haven't watched it, do so. It's pretty heartwarming.



This is by Joe Hisaishi. I think I'm going to look for other of his compositions. Best to listen to on a nice quiet night.

I have a polyp in my nose
or so it is supposedly :(

Ah yes, the sweet taste of freedom and yet-to-come-boredom

Today, I rejoice for my new found one-and-a-half months worth of freedom.

A week later, I'll more likely be so bored out of my wits I'd WISH there was something like school. Just so that I can run off to Angsana and go bug Ke Li, Yi May, Audrey and Jeremy and play Monoploly with them. Or play Monopoly Deal with Kelly, Hui Min and Em while they crash in the library-turned-office(we have a photocopier and a tank of fish for now) that has no space for a library.




Though maybe not by next week.

After all, I'll still have to go to school for debating, even though I may not speak. And then there's still some librarian work to sort. And that outing with my friends.

Then I may crash over at a friend's place to play video games.




Or my part time job plan will fall through.

Or I end up debating the entire holidays.




Heaven knows.

So maybe not next week.

***

Really though, what is one suppose to do during holidays when you don't go around the world every year?

Rot at home as your brain wastes away?

Not exactly, since I have options.


Sometimes I question the need for holidays longer than two weeks. If two weeks are long enough for the brain to turn to goo, man i pity American kids. After three months without school, seeing the school halls would be like seeing a whole different alien planet all over again.

The teachers would most likely go, 'Boy with the name XXX, do you understand me? Take me to your MIND.'

It's most likely why they have summer camps.



Though it is kind of like, what we are hoping for all year long(holidays, that is) we can't seem to appreciate it.

It's like we literally forget what we're doing, and why we're doing it.

And speaking of what we're doing, didn't I write something similar to this last year's hols?

(Checks. Stones)

I did.




I seriously need a topic and a life.

***

And while I'm complaining about all this, I just realized I have a mock exam for english literature tomorrow.


Do I look like the studying type though?


In this case, not really.




I definitely need all the right moves. Onerepublic, I like :D

At the VMAs

At the VMAs 09 in NYC, I learned:

That Kanye West is a jerk. Some words that are said should never be said. When they are they can never be taken back. Especially when those words are about Taylor Swift(not that I particularly like Taylor, but). Dissing Taylor was definitely not a star moment for him. Now everyone is giving him the 'love lockdown'. (excuse the pun)

At the VMAs 09 in NYC, I learned:

That Russell Brand is now worthy of an entrance with a Queen's song(courtesy of Katy Perry). His comments on wordly-matters are - enlightening at best. British Humor, I can't see it well otherwise. There were moments.

At the VMAs 09 in NYC, I learned:

That quick-change is a skill properly highlighted by Lady Gaga. Three different costumes(four if you count the one she performed in), all different and unique in their own rights, all in one night is a feat. Truly I've never seen a star that's so 'gaga' over clothes like those.

At the VMAs 09 in NYC, I learned:

That firefighter trucks and London buses work as doubles for limousines. Pink and Cobra Starship really now how to make a choice on using utilitarian vehicles. I wonder where Taylor Swift got the carriage. The pumpkin farm would have a lot of customers.....

At the VMAs 09 in NYC, I learned:

that there are people who love their hometowns. Case point, Jay Z and Alicia Keys. That was the nicest song I heard sung by Jay Z and about a hometown. And here it is :)





Yes, this was an excuse to play this song :)

for all djians

happy holidays and

good luck for the exams

sejarah is a torture :(

Rain, God d^#% it......

It's hot.

It's sweltering.

I think my brain got fried.

There's a ton of work due that's not done.

And I'm using the computer without my mother's permission.

Life's just 'heating up', isn't it?

I wonder where all the rainy nights and afternoons went.

If any of you can hear me, please note that the PJ area is in need of a serious shower. Bring all the rain, acid rain, pouring rain, as long as it's not a drizzle. Even a storm will do.

As long as it is strong, pounding RAIN.

if I were cliche, I'd add a song by Rain(you know, the korean singer that people actually get hyped about? Yes that Rain) but since I don't listen to Rain, nor do i intend to, well.

Mirror Reflection

In physics the other day(those that absolutely hate physics may roll their eyes now and plead boring teachers) we learned that the distance we and the mirror are apart is well, mirrored by the mirror. That means if I'm 15 meters away from the mirror, it would look like I'm very very far away from the mirror. So actually it would look like I'm 30 meters away, so to speak.

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Not understanding where this is all going?

Well, let's say you are the pink(or purple) car in that mirror. From this mirror, up close, it looks like it's quite far back. That's the actual distance.

But what if you're looking from the PINK car INTO the mirror FROM that distance?

He would see the himself there as freakishly far away.

It's double, if you think about it from the scientific point of view.

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Still don't get a clue what I'm driving at yet with this?

Then forget the huge mumbo jumbo scientific nonsense for a minute. That's not what I'm getting at.

Let's take the mirror as the point in our life - our goal so to speak. The job we want, the love we pine for, the feeling of freedom of dream of, or just being able to see the daylight of tomorrow.

Take the distance as whatever hardship you could face in your life(pick one from your nice long list)

Our goals have the habit(like the mirror) to reflect the distance we have to travel, to make it twice as long as it is. It becomes longer, looks harder to traverse and seem like there's too much work to be done. Just the sight of ourselves in the mirror, standing far, far away is enough to terrify us. To make us unable to move.

And the distance remains.

But maybe if you can look past the fact that the hardships are merely doubled and overly exaggerated, and that if you work, if you move closer to that goal.......Then, like walking closer to a mirror, the you in the mirror seems more and more absurdly closer. And before you know, you're touching the mirror, the reflection of yourself blending oh-so-well with one another.

End moral of the story?

It's not that long. The length is magically created by your mind. So since it's magically created, it will magically poof away when you move your butt. It's not that hard as it seems to seize a goal.

Thus, seize it.

now where did i put that mirror of mine?

Withdrawal Syndrome

I think I going through a withdrawal syndrome.

Like I don't want to think about stuff I used to think about a lot because I feel like something's gone horribly wrong. With what I don't know.

I don't feel like doing the things I used to do because I feel like I've been following the routine for too long.

I don't feel as sociable and cheery and confident as I used to.

I wasn't very like that in the beginning anyway. It just somehow feels like its gotten worse.

It's like I'm getting the yips all over again.

Like I'm afraid of something.

I just don't know what.

Or maybe I'm not admitting to myself what I'm so afraid of.

I'd rather not admit it to myself.

After all, who likes to wake up one day from a paradise and learn that in reality it is the end of the world?

Well, my case isn't THAT drastic.

It just feels like I want to stay in my ignorant, carefree shell for just a while longer.

I know that if I stay in there any longer I'm going to face hell once I come out. But I'd rather live with just a bit more of unjustifiable, selfish calm before having to face the dragons and lions and all that are baring their teeth at me.

I want to live for just a while longer feeling like there's nothing to worry about.

Because I deserve a little shred of unjustifiable calm as well.

I fervently wish though that when i come to my senses all in the world is righted without me having to lift a finger, but it's all just wishful thinking.

But then, everyone wish that the world will be alright the day we wake up, don't they?

I need a change of pace

and a thunderbolt to strike me awake

The PC and me

I've recently went through several heart palpitations over the hunk of metal called my PC. Installing a new graphics card has caused both me and Tien Yi much heart ache. And now after some research over some problems I've been having with the PC (another round of heart stopping events happened that I'd rather not go into-something to do with pci.sys and 'PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA), I've finally found out my RAMS could be well busted(faulty in techno terms). I don't know whether or not I wan't to spend money(RM 40) for RAM tho. Sad la, my RAM is a low yah one(a DDR version for those that now ur PCs).

I wish for a new CPU, but that would mean losing my info and not getting a digital camera (finally!). Only if the motherboard crashed for good or the hard drive ran its last laps can I ask my mum for a spanking-new CPU(we've had ours since 2000 i think).

I didn't finish my literature homework this afternoon like i planned.

Instead i slept the entire afternoon away again.

I'm having a mental slump somewhere in my brain.

I don't dare go upstairs to get my pen drives because I'm afraid of the PC dying on me all over again.(It loves to die on me now when I'm not using it for more than half an hour)

And now my hand is starting to ache because of the 100-push-up-exercises we did in karate.

Life's just simply peachy isn't it?

I wish i struck gold

(about RM2000 actually)

so I can get a new CPU and a new digital camera.

A father to a son

Something touching I saw on Oprah. Really makes you see that there are some really wonderful parents in the world in the midst of all these abusive parents you see on the papers.

My Small Narrow World

For the first time in a long row of nights, I'm actually feeling sleepy on a Saturday night that I get to use to computer till the late hours of dawn.

And I took an afternoon nap for 2 hours too.

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Trying to blog when you are closing to half-asleep is a bit like trying to push through a fog. You can see, but you can't see; you can think, but you can't think-kind of feel.

I wonder how people can think of stuff to blog about at close to every single day of your lives. After all, most days in your life compromise of boring, generic stuff.

For example:

'at 2 in the afternoon I MET Q. SO HOT :3 Hope he invites me to dinner, but he didn't today. Sigh :( He's so hot XD

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah'

And not just one day. EVERY DAY of this same kind of gushy material.

Now that's a royal bore.

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Everything can be a royal bore actually.

For example: I'm finding the internet a royal bore because i have nothing i want to do on the net. And they say the net is suppose to be the 'World-Wide-Web', which brings to mind having lots of stuff to do, after all it's 'World-Wide'.

But then people restrict themselves on what to read and what to d0 on the net based on their own preferences.

So a door that may seem infinitesmally wide will somehow or the other shrink to the size of a cat door because of the amount of brick, red tape and barriers that we put up oursleves.

I'm doing that right now, just like how millions of internet users are doing now.

If I hypothetically, 0ne day, decide to visit any kind of website, be it about tuberculosis or a game site or a porn site(that's a bit bad of me, but it's about not caring for boundaries so) I more likely will have not enough time on the net to read everything and do everything.

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

read

The sleep's muddling my brain.

There's a point to all of my rambling above, though most likely its a bit messed up.

The world isn't small. It's just our pitiful mind that is.

Small and narrow-minded, that's what humans are.

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There really is no point in me bringing up all this, except for the fact my narrow scope of mind has interpreted that I have nothing else left to do online except blog.

So blog it is.

Now allow me to return to my narrow virtual reality.

as i said

it's the lack of sleep

There was no storm

I think I'm the kind to expect the worse out of everything.









Even if I'm given an interlude I'm bound to think something bad's going to happen.

Even if nothing was particularly wrong I would think it was wrong.












But in the end, I was wrong.













I was wrong that everything would go wrong.



And that really makes everything alright.















For a long time in a long while, I think I'm feeling more like myself again.



And that was thanks to a day of food, card games and smiles.




And for that, I'm thankful.

I can safely say, there's no more storm.



I found this song on youtube. There really is one heck of a song database :) Damn nice song, with lots of touching emotion

bye bye
to my dear seniors

I don't care

you know, I've been hearing that a lot recently.

Heard it said by my younger brother when I reprimanded him for bad behavior.

Heard it said(well saw it written on an MSN page) by an 11-year-old girl who had a potty mouth.


Heard it uttered by another junior of mine, when she was in a pinch.




You know, I think i heard it all from the younger generation.

"I don't care if i fail my exams."

"I don't care if you're scolding me."

"I don't care if you don't like me."

"I don't care if i don't go to school."

"I don't care if you don't let me do this."

"I don't care if I'm like this."

"I don't care."

"I don't care."

"I don't care."

I can't help but feel amused and slightly apprehensive about that.




Let's take a look at this issue from an 'eye for an eye, tooth for tooth' ideal.

If you don't care, then i don't care whether or not you are being fed, being taken care of properly, that you're living in the same environment, whether or not you're living and breathing, whether or not you're happy or sad, .

You wouldn't mean a single dime to me.

Because simply put. If you don't care, then what gives you jurisdiction to think that we must care for you?


Why would your parents care?

Why would your teachers care?

Why would anyone care?


'I don't care', isn't something that should be said lightly.

Thank heavens Mahatma Ghandi came up with 'an eye for an eye makes the world go blind'.

Cause really, if there was no care, then no one would live.








If the politicians didn't care, we'd be in deep sh@$.


If the environmentalists didn't care, we'd have no planet to live in.


If the teachers didn't care, no one gets taught.


If the society didn't care, we are going to have a spiking crime rate.


If everyone didn't care, we wouldn't even be in the 21st century(after all, i don't care if i live in a cave).







Something uttered by someone so young, more so since the future generation that will succeed us and supposedly bring about a new legacy. They don't give a damn whether they've done something wrong be it in the eyes of law and the eyes of the public and the eyes of their family.

They just don't care.

Frankly, that disgusts me. This don't care-ish attitude. Makes me want to go to that child with a bar of soap and wash out their mouths.





Know why?

People murder because they don't care.

People steal because they don't care.

People cheat because they don't care.

People become monsters when they don't care.


It makes me see, that these people are already beaten before they even started, that they won't bring change, that they are going to be the contributors to the downfall of society. It's the people that are thinking of this kind of logic now that is beginning to destroy our world. All we're doing is increasing the rot by letting our children think that way.








Parents really should drive the point home that you can't say 'I don't care'.

Pull the wool out of their ears and the cotton in front of their eyes. Pound it into them that yes, they should care.

Because really, don't you think its disheartening?
Hearing them say they don't care that our world is falling into pieces.
After all, you care don't you?








Be glad that I still care whether or not you're going to grow up right.


Someone has to care.

'Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It's not.'~Dr Seuss~

The Calm Before the Storm

It's peaceful now.


All my pre-occupations are finally done and dealt with. All of them cleared and stacked in neat little boxes to be storaged somewhere in the crevices of my mind.

MPS is done and over. I've finally reached a post-withdrawal stage where I can safely talk about it without breaking into an anxiety attack. There is Hi-tea and gift presenting tho( I think I'm going to have another attack).

Anxiety attacks and high stress levels don't seem to help me much.



Just makes me more muddled.


Just makes me eat less.


Just makes me come down with strange diseases(shingles/'ular')





There's quite a calm in my other arena too.



Not debating and concentrating back on school life is helping me re-assimilate with normal society.


Now I just have to start re-learning the speaking skills I used in debate and mix it with normal conversation. If that's possible.



There is a saying though. The calm comes before the storm.



I can see the storm ahead of me somewhat.



Work load re-piling up.


Exams.


Skimping on school work.


Messing up some other project.




I'm going through a laze faze now, more likely due to the fact my brain's shutting down after 6 months of worrying and working. I don't exactly know how long it takes to get out of laze fazes but I'm going to do it while it lasts.


Even though there's going to be a storm after the calm, it's still nice to enjoy the calm that is now. Looking at my future and screaming and tearing my hair over it will kill me in the end. May as well make sure that before my death I live a satisfying life.


As dire and depressing as it sounds, it's reality.


No point in looking the other way and hoping it misses you. Because it's looking and staring right at you, reality. And the only way to properly deal with it, is to stare it in the eye, and still live your life the way you want to.


Now if only I can master that.


Staind-Reality


We have to start accepting reality, before it destroys us.

Zetsubou(despair)

I'm in despair.

A simple line that has only one meaning.


Simply put, I'm upset, distressed and anxious over a certain matter.






The reasons and actions afterwards are many.

After all, one can do many things in despair.
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Reason 1: I'm upset over something that happened in the real world.

Reason 2: Someone's upset has made me upset.

Reason 3: I'm upset with myself.

Reason 4: Someone I know has died.

Reason 5: Someone I know is leaving the country.

Reason 6: I have been retrenched from the work force, and lost everything to debts.

Reason 7: My boyfriend/girlfriend dumped me.

Reason 8: I had a bad day.

Reason 9: There is no more meaning to life.

Reason 10: I have an anxiety/depression disorder.

ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC.
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Possible outcome 1: Depression.

Possible outcome 2: Suck up and carry on with your life.

Possible outcome 3: Put on a false front and start stabbing behind people's backs

Possible outcome 4: isolation from society.

Possible outcome 5: Giving up.

Possible outcome 6: Suicide.

Possible outcome 7: Making everyone else in your life miserable.

Possible outcome 8: Gain harsh and unbending views about life.

Possible outcome 9: Nothing will change.


ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC.












In the end, despair will always somehow appear, so a reason and outcome is always there. What you are upset and afraid about is so subjective if I tried to predict every single reason of sadness and the outcome of it I'd have to scan through heaven knows how much neutron signals that run through a person every second. A gargantuan task that would even fry a super computer. The only people that know yourself is you. And your despair is your own.





However, someone once told me this: "you have the right to be stupid, but we also have the right to point out you are stupid."

Using the logic of the right of another person, I can also say this."I have the right to feel despaired. It's also my right to tell and let other people know and feel my despair"


After all everyone has rights.





And my 'right'at this moment, is to tell you all simply.


I'm in despair.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei

a bit of anxiety and boredom

goes a long way

Manic Street Preachers-From Despair to Where

Change

I just went and read a senior's first blog post. I look at it, stare at it, scrutinize it, and begin to wonder. When do we all just start changing so dramatically? Compared to now, his blogging from 2 years back or so seem so....... well, innocent?

Just exactly when do we change?

I've had a friend from primary that was nice, though she had big dreams of being 'popular'. Three years down the road, we don't really talk anymore, and my mum bumps into her mum. She's changed as well. Cares more about friends, cheerleading, and clubbing and being 'popular' rather than her studies. Definitely a 180 degree change.

Had some guy friends back from primary that were quite nice as well. Heard from someone that they've turned into absolute jackasses. Some friends, i don't keep into contact anymore, but certainly, they've changed as well.

In three years, we can change so much.

How many times we change is also quite something to behold sometimes.

Just how we change is the same issue as well.

We just change....... so much in so short a time.



I'm certain I've been changing all my life.




From a nonchalant and distant child who had no shame.


To an emo child for a good 2 years of my life.


Becoming quite an awkward, anime-loving teen.


To a mostly, responsible(I think), not so sociable, more jaded person who still likes anime but not so obsessively anymore( I think; see the insecurity? :p).


I don't hold a fascination for that much longer. I can't seem to get over the fact that people may be looking at me as if I'm a stupid idiot. I still think I don't meet the expectations of many people around me.





But I'm still changing.


I'm learning to speak, to think, to lead, to do everything that I need to do, to keep in time, to write more, to be more emphatic, to be more responsible........


Everyone is changing, getting older every year, getting wiser every year, maturing, making mistakes. That's what humans are made to do. And in the end, we all return to dust.



There's a list of things anyone could learn over time.


Whether we meet that list is a different matter.



But, we're still changing. We're still learning.



Some people haven't moved just yet.



But change? Change is definitely going to come.


Let's just hope that it's the right change.



Like his version better than the original :)

The Concept of Sleepovers

Definition of sleepover:the act of spending the night as a guest in another's house, especially the participants are children....

That sure says a lot about us teenagers that do this activity.

Seriously.

How many sleepovers has one been to?

I'm currently blogging from the second sleepover at a friend's house in my entire 16 years of life, and I got to tell you, the basic criterias of the sleepovers haven't really been met so far (well, based on what I believe about the stereotype of sleepovers...)

a) We've never lasted all the way up till morning (tho' me and Yean Yi are going to try for this one)

b) We haven't had a pillow fight. (like the ones you see in movies)

c) We haven't called and harassed someone in the middle of the night (another usual, i think)

d) We haven't really gossiped about people (that I'm not sure is staple)

e)............

In the end, I think I've just been loafing at someone's house.

And that is suppose to be fun for many teenagers my age.

Maybe it's just me.

I don't have anything to blog about

I can't wait for camp

2nd Malaysian Habit O_o

Now, we know our race. Our Malaysian breed. Let's say we have many tricks up our sleeves. Many that even I don't know whether they help us or kill us.

Notably though, is the Malaysian sense of driving.



Maybe it was the weather, but on the Friday of the 1st Exam week something went terribly wrong with the heads of the parent-cum-chauffeurs and hired private vans.



They lost the ability to understand TRAFFIC LIGHTS.





SERIOUSLY.









The traffic light only has three colored lights. Red, green, and yellow (not in order).



Somehow, after years (or maybe just a few months) of driving and passing their driving license exams, knowledge seems to have flown out the window completely.





In their eyes:

Red = 'go'

Yellow='speed up'

Green = well, still 'go'



We all know the proper meanings, don't lie. But we also have the fantastic idea that it's fine not to pay a single bit of notice to the original rule.




Truly MALAYSIAN, isn't it? Like our habit not to read manuals (what does this button do?)







In the end, the only thing that happened was huge congestion and the possibility for a pedestrian student to get rammed down.





Cue case, 'mua. I got caught between a car that was not suppose to move and one that was suppose to move.


Luckily I came out unscathed.





But this is a nice way to teach kids how to respect the traffic isn't it?



'Son, make your own rules on the road. BEAT THE TRAFFIC LIGHT.'



Thank you, adults, for that wonderful, eye-opening lesson.




So you don't mind if I run that red light now?

seriously
parents these days

Let's face the music people.





We are all bloody LIARS. In every sense of the word.







Don't think so? Then tell me the one time you haven't told a lie.

Unfortunately white lies count as well.






Sure sometimes we tell them to make sure we don't hurt someone's feelings, but you're still hurting them. Especially when they hear from someone else about the truth (seriously, man. That cape looks godawful on you.)







Hold on. You telling me you're not that kind of person?



Then let me tell you another way we lie.









We PROCRASTINATE.














Wait, you say. Doesn't procrastinate mean 'to put off something or delay it'? Doesn't that equal 'laziness', not 'lying'?




Why don't I put it into a different light.

Let me paint a household scenario. Mom asks you to wash your socks. You say that you have another week to school reopens so you have time.
Day 1: i want to watch tv. I''l do it later.
Day 2: I want to go out with my friends. I'll do it later.
Day 3: I want to use the PC. Do it later.
Day 4: Have to help do something else. No time.
Day 7: I can wear smelly socks to school. No need to do it.


We've lied haven't we? For 7 days, we lied that we'd do it the next day. In the end, we lied to ourselves that we have the time and effort and willpower to do it later. After all that time, NOTHING gets done. It's a wondrous lie isn't it?

One we always love to say.










Still shaking your head and saying you don't?



Well, good for you to that small factions for being a goody-goody. God up there will be proud of you.








To those other oblivious fools, congratulations.

You have carried on lying to yourself.

Good luck I bid to you as you dig your grave. 'Cause your going to need all that luck trying to get out of it when it's too late.

I need luck and willpower too :p

My Unedited and Unabridged Version of Sulking

TO THE DEAR IDIOTS SITTING AT THE TOP UP THERE: (yes you, government)

In lieu with your decision to cap the subjects at 10, allow me, as a student about to take my SPM exam next year, to tell you how dismally stupid your idea is.

Firstly, the limit is too restricting. Please look at the urban schools as well besides your residential schools and rural areas. In the packages given to us by our schools, pure science streams and art streams have to take 9 subjects automatically. You're currently asking us to pick ONLY 1 subject like that. How is that fair and just for all students? What if I want to take English Lit because I like English? What if I want to take accounts because I'm considering being an accountant besides a doctor? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT? ARE YOU GOING TO SAY WE CAN'T DREAM AND HAVE CHOICES?

Next, what kind of gauge do you have that many students are taking so many subjects that they are overshadowing other students? You are only looking at EXTREME cases. I make friends with a lot of seniors, and the amount of subjects on average that they take are only 12. How many students are going to take 16 or more? Some extraordinaire can do it, but majority of us would get a brain hemorrhage from all that studying. You are being pessimistic in believing that all of us are crazy study freaks. For goodness sake, look at the bigger picture!

Furthermore, what gives you the right to decide how well we're going to cope with a subject? Just because 1 student can't handle 12, does that mean the rest of us can't? How is this going to benefit us when we're not allowed to learn what we want to learn? You are merely trying to blanket up what you think is a problem, and pass it off as a viable solution. What we can or cannot do is up to us to decide, not you. We know ourselves, we're old enough. If you think those residential students need help, give them APPROPRIATE HELP, not USELESS HELP.

Your reasoning for putting this unnecessary tight limit is because you say residential school and rural area school students don't have the facilities and the teachers, but doing this affirmative action isn't going to help anyone. You are merely smothering up the problems of the rural school and residential school students. They don't have the resources, GIVE THEM RESOURCES. Don't have the teachers? GET THEM THE TEACHERS. You are not solving anything by putting a cap on the entirety of students. Taking away the freedom of choice of students is not going to benefit who you want to benefit, because in the end, those students don't get to learn, they don't have your facilities, they still don't have your teachers. If that's the case 10's going to be a problem still. Are you going to lower the limit down to 6 then?

I don't deny that some students are a bit whack in taking that many and just for the As, but then this current cap doesn't solve your problem. If you don't want it to be about As, then use other factors as well. Take into account co-curriculum. Instead of marking and deciding scholarships based on As, do it an average mark basis. Take the amount of marks totalled from all the subjects that person took, and divide it by the number of subjects. But don't take away freedom of choice, or at least put a more feasible limit (12 is good).

I hope you people up there have ears, or else these voices down here aren't going to be pretty. (remember, we vote next election)

The Problem With Exams

It isn't like me to go online on the Saturday just before exams start. Usually I'm forced to bunker in my room to study. Somehow or the other, I'm turning into quite the procrastinator.

But lets leave procrastination for a separate topic.




EXAMS.



1st, we are deprived of our usual entertainment (parents don't understand that teenagers don't study past 10 at night)

2nd, we are asked questions we wouldn't use in real life (seriously, what's the point learning how mitosis is performed)

3rd, it saps us of our strength (studying late nights is bad for our bodies...)

4th, we are plunged into boredom (no TV and PC allowed remember?)

5th, we are stuck with mental blocks (like mine in blogging rite now, that's why this topic)





EXAMS, BE GONE!

dying to try
to put that extra mile
procrastination...

On the matter of the past

Ah yes.

I forgot.


IIUM debate.



Time to come clean.







Well, it's not that extreme. Just I feel like blogging about it.





Let's start off with the most obvious point:

ALMOST EVERYONE AT THE DEBATE CAME DOWN WITH FOOD POISONING ('mua included)


it's never happened before, but lady luck dictates.

Poor IIUM people were scurrying around doing damage control.



now we move to the day by day chronicling :D

1st day
-long sleepy intro talk; slept then to replenish energy
-insistent LEO people calling (that was my fault though); problem was solved
-won both rounds of that day (1st round trashing[uniforms were a practical rehearsed topic thanks to wira]; 2nd round harder but was clear win)
-stomach still in good health because didn't go to banquet (thank the gods wherever they may be)

2nd day
-won 2, lost 1, final round was silent and left us worried (we lost the humor round, confound it)
-john was there for half the day and gave the judge that gave the win to the other team a poor score(didn't affect the poor man much since he was judging in the finals)
-quite snappish during the last prep round due to fatigue
-reached home at 12.30
-stomach had horrible adverse reaction 3 times in the middle of the night; clear signs o' diarrhea.

3rd day
-we broke 10th place and may have had to go against our sister(nay brother; they're mostly guys)team, but there was a miscalculation and we were re-ranked 11th(other team no change)
-got charcoal pill from Pn Angie and water retention pill from John. Siew and El found a quiet place for me(with diarrhea) and Daniel(high fever) to sleep till next round(at 2)
-unfortunately both teams lost at octo :(
-no worries. Cam hogged in the classroom afterward.


shit happens. But.


I don't regret it. seriously.


even though the school's not paying back my cash and I got scolded at by the LEO people.


still.

This is one of the best experiences I had.

it took the form 5 team to break 10th.

this year it took a form 4 team.

I see a bright future. No matter what anyone says about winning everything.

So. that's that.

all you people
who believe that winning is everything
go f*&^ off
cause you don't know the true meaning
of experience.

Drowning

One word says it all.









I'm being swamped.


Soon I will asphyxiate.



Choke to death and turn to a lifeless corpse.











Why the sudden dark perception, one asks?(I just read john's blog so sue me)






Elementary, my dear Watson. Let us examine the evidence.




1st. The MAIN, OH-SO OBVIOUS C.O.D.--------- EXAMS. now that's a killer.


2nd. The crunch of time to start preparing for MPS and camp *gasps* (I asked for it so)


3rd. My obvious financial crisis ( I NEED TO CLAIM FROM WEICHERN)


4th. And actually, one which I also am asking for. DEBATE SEASON MAY NOT BE OVER. (keyword : MAY)


Not to mention other various causes.................................................................











All in all, fellow gentlemen and ladies, the cause of death is clear.











The victim is CLEARLY. drowning. UNDER PRESSURE.




just like all the other students out there :)

everyone, it's crunch time
say your prayers

One of the Many Malaysian Habits.......

It seems that supermarkets are one of the places to see amusing things.






I know carrots are suppose to be good for the eyes and helps to improve sight, but really. Is it really needed for a family of five to be 10 kilos of it?



That family had about 4 huge full to the brim plastic bags on them, the guy at the counter had to use multiple price stickers to close the bags.


Somehow or the other they had missed out the lovely '3kg per family only' line at the bottom of the price board.




Same thing for the watermelons that the family took.

4 of them. Sign says '3 pieces per family only'.








Someone smart here (most likely everyone) can point out to me that the man (and his family) had some kind of restaurant business that required lots of fruits *cough*fruitjuice*cough*




But seriously.








If you want to plunder a supermarket of its cheap goods, you could be SMARTER at doing it.



I mean, four HUGE sacks of carrots that amount to 10 kg in 1 trolley isn't conspicuous enough?

They can't possibly finish it alone in a week or two.




Unless the people at Carrefour are dumb and blind they would most likely confiscate most of the sacks and 1 watermelon. Wasted effort right there.










If they had wanted to, take multiple trolleys for goodness sakes!



Then, you'd be a true MALAYSIAN :D

people, respect hypermarkets and other shoppers.

dedicated to my fellow debaters for the times we've had

I know John & Abhi will cringe at the singer, but I heard it on the radio and I thought the lyrics meant more.











Just play the darn thing.



Lyrics:
I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what?s waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

To all you debate people, we climbed :)

We lost, and we won.

KDU has been a great experience.


For starters, it seems I make a not-bad third speaker. Good enough to be shortlisted as the 12 top for the prelim rounds 1-3. The prank the head adjudicator played was damn scary though. (CA: these few names that have been called has been receiving complaints from the judges. We will be shortening your time from 7 minutes to 5..............JUST KIDDING. PRESENTING THE BEST SPEAKERS FROM YESTERDAY'S PRELIM ROUNDS! XD" Me, Soph, El, and the other speakers up there: "O_o WTF?! Belated April Fools is it?')

My team (Me, Elena, Marc, Abhi, and on the last day Daniel) managed to win 3 out of our 4 rounds. We didn't have enough points to break though. So we played audience to Soph, Keefe and Siew as they debated.



It was fun to watch instead of having to worry so much about what to debate on.




In the end, we managed to get to the finals.





Then we lost and got 1st runner up & Soph got best speaker (Congrats, Soph :)









Through thick and thin, I think that it was an experience that I wouldn't have missed out of. I learned many valuable things in debate.






I learned that:
a) John and the senior debaters may not be as law abiding as I thought them to be (nuff said)

b) Soph gets over losses by thinking of hot guys (like the judge in KDU)

c) Siew can be just as blood thirsty as me (N. *^%&%%&^ , BEWARE. WE KNOW WHERE YOU TEACH :P)

d) Marc can actually be taught new things (no offense and just joking, don't hyperventilate)


e) Abhi.......is not as annoying as before. (O_o when did i notice?!)


f) Elena......cracks a lot of buttock jokes (too many I can't list them down. And they say she's a 'high level Christian')







This may all be some funny facts that can get me killed. But seriously. You guys rock. And I'm glad I went through that short period of WIRA and KDU with you guys. Even though Audrey's mom speculates that this year seems somewhat cursed (we lost the title for WIRA, KDU and Choral Speaking so far) I think I still wouldn't have changed it for the world.








Though now, we have to see whether there's space for IIUM. Damn HELP for not accepting another team (glares at organizers).


Let's look forward and hope we can create a debating club. (that has left to be seen, but it is a goal I believe we want to strive towards)

it is the little joys in life that brightens up the day.
I no longer feel that much of an urge to kill anymore :)

Memoirs from the day we were screwed over - 24th March

It had been a day like any other day, maybe just slightly more special (kay, very more special). Quote John: "District finals, people!"

Seriously there had been no indication that we would have lost. Not the atmosphere before, after and during the debate (in my opinion, we rocked). Maybe the day had known of our misfortune and had been weeping for us, but I wouldn't know.



But seriously, Lady Luck screwed us over.





We hadn't seen it coming. They hadn't seen it coming. Shock, no tears. yet.






When we had asked him what the hell we had done wrong, all that came out were half-baked answers. Things he said we hadn't done, yet we had.










In the end, we didn't lose due to being horrible; we lost because of the messy business known as the human mind.






To the Catholic team, I can't fault you. You didn't see this coming as well. Celebrate all you want. Just don't come TAUNTING AND GLOATING, because it doesn't help either of us.






There's no tears coming from me. The other members have shed enough.

This feeling may go away with time, but that still doesn't mean that I'm entirely happy with what happened.




I'm going to miss WIRA, but I'm not going to stop debating. I like it, and I want to continue. The memories I obtained from it were real. The memories mean more than the feeling I have now (just let me wallow for a while). And now that we have the chance, we'll take it.





KDU Debate, here we come.



We recover fast from defeat. That's all.

I know why I like rock more,
It is like a medley of life,
messy, noisy, screaming.
Venting anger and frustration for me.
(I was restricted from posting earlier, so sue me)

Somehow I'm feeling slightly.......blue today.



There are so many things I haven't done yet, and so many things I think I didn't do properly.



There really is no point over worrying, but still it doesn't get rid of the feeling. The restless feeling in your chest. 'S bad.



Debate......District finals. Catholic. Worry 1#.



Library.......MPS..........*fidget**worry**fidget*....... Worry 2#


Writing........ I haven't gotten anywhere -_-|||||| Worry 3#



There are a few other little matters, but still these three are still the largest.


One may say to focus on the bright side, but it doesn't mean the worry fades away.



One also says actions are better than words.



Maybe I'd feel better with more action, but then again.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Librarian one-day camp was fun (boring lectures on myriad of plants though) and I came home unable to walk the next day but still. I think I owe an apology to Pn. M. There were some things I could have helped better. I wasn't exceptionally alert.
















worry, worry, bubble, double,
flow, and flow, and gurgle, gargle.
over the pot and spill across,
the worry continues to frost.

I have to get into the grooovee.....

Humans are strange.









We make promises to ourselves, yet we don't keep them.













We say we want to do this yet we do that.









We hurt others yet hurt ourselves.








We portray confidence, yet have so much doubt about our own capabilities.







We say there's no hate, yet hate's rampart.




Good intentions turn out to be bad ones.




And in the end, the world goes round and round and round in an endless and confusing cycle.




Aren't we humans just simply contrary?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i'm not feeling like my usual self, one knows

I AM FREE!

I don't know about all of you that are not in DJ, but.




EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





'Nuf said.






My predictions?

Add math - A breeze
Mod Math- Relatively fine
Bio - Yes, no
English - Forgot word count but who cares?
Malay- Hn. Teacher's too strict with marks
Chinese- Cross fingers.
Chem- Botched last question
Physics - Damn the pistol question
Moral -another walk in the park, though whether I walked the right path has yet to be seen
Sejarah- Give and take. No way to predict.




Some people may glare at me for saying all that, but hey, at least you tried your best :)






Exams are over, but debate and librarian and everything else is not.


Camp paperwork is done, but I WANT PIBG FUNDING. NO GIVE LIBRARIAN, NO GIVE PREFECT. FAIR AND SQUARE. prefects that actually see this blog I mean you no harm. yet.


Debating.............. No comment for now.



Sigh.


I'm getting lazy. There's a pile of work I haven't done (Not a mountain thankfully) yet I'm sitting in front of the PC watching Soul Eater and blogging.


Ah well.


One must enjoy life still :)

Stress......(Happy valentine's day though)

Librarian Camp and MPS. Check 1.

School debate and honor running on the line. Check 2.

Quartermaster and LEO IU deco. Check 3.

School exams in exactly 2 weeks and have not yet started studying. Check 4.



put all checks together and you have only one answer.







PANIC!








Sure some people have LOTS of problems, but still. Let me take a moment to hyperventilate (a bombastic word for 'panic' :)

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Alright, moment over.


Back to other things.


First, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. (singles let us all huddle in despair. not that i care)


Camp has been going better. The lady working with us has given us a much lower quotation, but still not low enough. We hope we can limbo a bit lower. That way I won't be having angry parents asking why the F$%# camp's are so expensive :)



MPS. Second meeting was held. Happy with some. OK with some. Quiet with some. Worried with some. (kelly n ghee ken -_-......i am watching you........)



debate.......nothing much I can say. Only that it's HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL UNTIL WE WIN. (that's how certain we are)


I've heard the winds blowing of librarian politics all over again. *sighs dramatically* people, this time, kill each other all you want, just get your work done. I HAVE NO TIME. Dunno whether it'll really get any worse, but a warning still.

Overall it's been an eventful and exciting week. Skipping classes, talking trash, and getting a jaw ache (it's still not gone O_o is it an infection?). Plus losing my RUMUSAN book and sleeping at 1am.

.
.
.
.
.
.

Okay, maybe NOT such a good week.



People, good luck understanding Pn. Sow's add math.

Jia Yun, I need to get a homework book for you to write in.

hi nigel.
happy valentine's everyone.
and someone help me with my HTMLs.

First off, my Belian class won our first round of debate (this house should prohibit designer babies).

Secondly, me, Siew Sanz and Sophia was picked from our class to join WIRA debate. Siew Sanz and Sophia I understand, but this one ?! O_o



I had the shock of my life when Sophia congratulated me.

Second shock was when I found out I couldn't do the class debate anymore.

Good luck Gaston, Sean and Marcus.



Now, the shock's over and the reality is setting in.

One thing I never knew about debate is how grueling a discussion session can be. Second is the amount of commitment. Third is the amount of research and writing.

WIRA may be worth the credentials in the long run, but not if we kill ourselves first. Which according to Sophia MAY be a likely possibility.




Anyways..................



School. Will have to suffer due to the amount of effort that has to be put into WIRA but managable. I've finished all my homework except for Bio notes. Luckily there's 2 more days.

Librarian:
a) camp. I don't understand how a package deal for a dormitory basis would be RM385/pax when it's 33/night for normal rates. We've asked for a dissection, but we may have to scrap eagle ranch altogether. For now, we've put up a paper to see how many people are actually interested.

b)MPS. Paperwork. Get done. Feb. End. Die.

Writing. ........ T_T MPH-Alliance, Choral Script, Debate Script (possible), up-coming IDLA. I haven't fully started or finished ANY of them yet.




Long story cut short, in another two months all that is left of me will be a mindless corpse-like zombie.

CNY has come and gone......

One week’s break just isn’t enough anymore.


SING THIS LIKE U’D SING ‘ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS

For the day before CNY, we ate like HUNGRY PIGS.
THREE plates of KFC, TWO BOWLS of shark’s fin,
And a lot of ju-unk in between….

On the 1st day of CNY, we ate tons of sweets,
Heck loads of oranges, yay for angpows,
and boo-hhoo for the tummy-ache.

On the 2nd day of CNY, I lay at home in bed,
felt like 'gonna vomit', couldn't eat a thing,
and in the end I slept the day away.

On the 3rd day of CNY, we had a change in plans,
went to Minyak Beku, ate tons of mee,
and prayed at a temple by the sea.

On the 4th day of CNY, we finally went home,
woke at five-thirty, dropped off my grandma,
and said good-bye to Batu Pahat.

(End of Song)

In the end, once I reached home, another MOUNTAIN awaited me.

Today the mountain is down to Bio and 2 tuition pieces.

Plus a presentation work of my chinese tuition.



I don't know why but my blog can't change font sizes anymore T_T


Plus color.

WHERE DID ALL MY OPTIONS RUN TO!!!

WAIT.

I'VE FIGURED IT OUT O_O




For librarian matters, I have to slaughter the eagle ranch people for unsatisfactory customer service -__-

Plus I have to check on places where a camp can be held in Selangor, or in a state close to Selangor.




SOMEONE, SEND ME AN ANG-POW FOR MORE PROSPERITY.

Everyone, Gong Xi Fa Cai :)

Second week has passed.....

Homework. Die.

That's the first thing I think of if you would be so 'kind' as to mention normal classes.



Interview.........WTF?!

The trainees need some work. I only gave a definite yes to one out of 10 of the people I interviewed.



Camp.......(Thanks teacher).

THE BLOODY QUOTATION HASN'T ARRIVED!!!



MPS. Brain dead. I can't think up of any more ideas.



Nostalgia. I have failed T_T



W.r.i.t.i.n.g. -__-|||| Need the expression say more?



Overall, with that mountain of homework (tho now it's been cut in half) looming over me, the holidays that were seem like a FAR off time....





Why was I so hyped about going to Form 4 anyway?

Oh yar, I forgot to add. The most greatest coincidence of coincidences happened during my Add Math class. A friend that I haven't talked to in 3 years suddenly showed up! O_o I was pretty surprised, and she was too, since I could still remember her name. We couldn't talk much at that time, since we were busy with the class. I had meant to ask for her new e-mail add, but I forgot T_T

I'll have to get it next time.

1st School Week - Recap

Finally, the first week of school is over.

All the plans and schedules have been laid out, and going back to school has finally settled us down. My first week of school was half-good, half-bad.

For starters, I swapped classes. Originally I had chosen a sub science-ICT stream, but when I went to the class it was so bad that by the second period I was already hankering to get out of class to get a transfer form. Then I spent 2 sleepless nights worrying about my appeal to a pure science. It finally got approved, and I was transfered to 4 Belian (I was in 4 Keruing before). I didn't have to do much catching up since it was still just the third day of school.

My tuition classes have been progressing, though I just started the first lessons. The only problem was English Lit, since the teacher was sporiadic and she hadn't set a proper time for the class at all. Luckily my friend's found another teacher in Taman Tun, which is much closer. It only starts after CNY, and the price is still unknown, but I think I'll go for that instead. My POL class in school would have clashed with my Add Math tuition, but the problem automatically solved itself when my Add Math class was swapped from 3.15-5.15 to 4-6 in the afternoon.

The only thing that seems to be going somewhat smoothly is my co-curicular activities. The submission for club choices was today at the hall. Most of the 4A forms had to be given to the teacher, but LEO collected by it's own, so that one was passed up. The rest-karate, Berjaya, QM - all goes to the form teacher.

The first library meeting was also today. I had to go and collect my Bio books, but half-way through lining up in front of the crowded Physics lab someone from my class came out and said that they wouldn't give people from Belian since they're suppose to take on Mon. I had to speak during the library meeting about MPS and Camp, and my knees were wobbly throughout the affair. I was fine for the the MPS AJK small meeting, though my mind blanked out close to the end.

I have karate tomorrow, but actually there shouldn't be. The advising teacher told me to tell sensei not to come, but we normally have training without a supervising teacher so I didn't really bother.

Overall my week turned out for the better, though in my firm belief choosing to go for the sub science-ICT package was the worst choice I made in a long time.

My first blog entry for 2009 :)

Recently I chatted with an old friend of mine from standard 6 (my ONLY friend I'm still keeping contact with) and she told me that she had been working during the hols. O_o I wanted to do that......I'm a bit upset with myself for not trying harder, but I'll look for one harder next year. Hopefully now that I'm at a legal age to work there should be more jobs (though most of the ones that I want have the annoying tag line of 'SPM qualification needed').

After not talking with someone for a long time lots sure change. She stopped going for her Japanese classes and she quit being a librarian at her school. She's also busy working on a book to send to a publisher. Hearing that, I have to review my life a little, shouldn't I?

It's a bit strange to finally be able to refer to myself as 'Form 4' instead of 'next-year's Form 4' already. When you try to think back at the entire year it feels so short, even though you know that when you were living through it it was nothing but.

I made a glitch for one of my tuitions. I didn't now the teacher meant that the class was still unconfirmed until she called us. So I told my mom there was class and we drove all the way to the teacher's house (i was half-an-hour early) and she was leaving her house! She finally explained to me the above point of confirming class.....It's been a while since I made such an embarrassing mistake -_-|||

On Friday I had to go to school to process Chinese Books in the library. I went early so that I could get the keys from Pn Cecilia early (Pn Monica had to run errands). Kelly and Jessica were there when I reached, Kelly arriving just before me. But Pn Cecilia wasn't there, and she didn't come until 8.30! We stood waiting outside the library for half-an-hour! Then when we tried to turn the key it wouldn't budge. We had to try for another 10 minutes before we could open the door. Then there was no electricity! We had to carry the stuff downstairs and do the work in the canteen. But there was so many mosquitos that after a while we sent someone upstairs to check whether the electricity was back on, and thankfully it was, so we could go back up.

My new year's resolution is to cultivate a habit to write something at least once a week, be it story plot, character outline or a scene itself. I also plan to blog at least once every week, otherwise there would be no point in having one. Also, stick to my timetable, and make sure this year's MPS is a hit!

Though, keeping my resolutions is going to be tough <3